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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26443081">My STEPDAD is an ALIEN???</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/beachbee/pseuds/beachbee'>beachbee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Invader Zim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Idk what to tag this as tbh, M/M, POV Multiple, Professor Membrane is dating Zim, Rating May Change, Zim is Defective (Invader Zim), Zim meets Dib and Gaz and goes "oh these are mine now :)", just a cute lil idea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:27:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,377</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26443081</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/beachbee/pseuds/beachbee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Professor Membrane comes home one day and introduces Dib and Gaz to his new boyfriend, Zim. Dib is horrified to learn his dad is dating an alien.</p><p>Everyone is horrified when Zim insists on bonding with his boyfriends kids.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Professor Membrane/Zim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>111</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Zim Kicks in the Door to Their Lives</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this fic isn't groundbreaking or life changing. just wanted to write some cute, fluffy stepdad zim :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Children! I have something very important to discuss with you both.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dib and Gaz both looked up to the front door where their father had just come in, following him with their eyes as he blocked their view of the television. They hadn’t been expecting him to even come home tonight, so the sudden unannounced appearance drew both their attention. Dib wasn’t exactly surprised with the sudden visit- true, he didn’t see his father often, but when he did, it was usually random. Before he or Gaz could say anything, Membrane continued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, we all know you’re both getting older- so independent!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dib wrinkled his nose. “12 and 11 is still pretty young.” Gaz elbowed him harshly and Dib shoved her arm away, but the scuffle ended at that. Gaz constantly defended their father’s distant parenting, and disapproved of Dib’s lack of tact in bringing it up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, yes, and still so independent. You two are so very mature. Why, I expect you’ll both be moving out in a few years for college. Which is why I thought that you two would understand if I started looking for some… companionship!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaz cringed. “Ew.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dib tried to shove down the hurt that ached in his chest, and instead replied snappishly. “What, we’re not good enough company?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you are, son! But as I said, I know you two will be moving out soon enough,” Membrane waved dismissively, sighing longingly. “And, as I’m getting on in years, I realize I’ve foregone a lot of opportunities in the name of science, and in raising you children.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaz could probably sense Dib thinking something along the lines of their father having done the bare minimum in raising them, and she elbowed him again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, children… How would you feel if I started to pursue a relationship?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hardly ecstatic, Dib wanted to say. He scarcely even </span>
  <em>
    <span>saw </span>
  </em>
  <span>his father let alone spent time with him, and now he wanted to be away even </span>
  <em>
    <span>more?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Not that the time they </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>spend together was ever very pleasant, but they were still his </span>
  <em>
    <span>kids!</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That was what he </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>to say, but he met eyes with Gaz, staring him down with a fury words couldn’t describe. He let her answer for the both of them, though he certainly didn’t share her opinion. “We just want you to be happy, Dad,” she said, though even she looked a little uncertain. “I’m sure you’ll reel in someone nice. Just make sure to bring her home so she can get the ‘if you break my dad’s heart I’ll break you’ ritual.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well… I have to admit, Gaz, it’s not the ‘she’s I’d be interested in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That</span>
  </em>
  <span> had Dib raising his brows- it wasn’t often Membrane really managed to surprise him. Surprised, but not upset. If anything, he was a little relieved, knowing that if he ever decided to tell his father about his own… um, </span>
  <em>
    <span>interests, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he wouldn’t be afraid of impending rejection. Not that he needed his father’s approval or anything... “Dad, we don’t care about that,” Dib said genuinely. “Like Gaz said, I guess... as long as you’re happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least there won’t be any competition for who the woman of the house is,” Gaz snorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Membrane’s expression didn’t change much outwardly, other than raising a brow. He leaned down to ruffle their hair. “Ah, children, I appreciate that. And, we’re in luck! We can get through that silly ritual Gaz mentioned right now!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Wait, what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come in, Zim!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The front door squeaked on its hinges as it was kicked open and loudly slammed against the wall in a very unnecessarily dramatic entrance, a high pitched voice cackling maniacally. “AHAHA! HELLO, WORMIES!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaz grumbled lowly. “You’re already seeing someone? What would you have done if we </span>
  <em>
    <span>hadn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>been okay with you dating?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Membrane chuckled. “Gazlene, I’m an adult. I don’t need permission from my children! That was just a formality.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dib exclaimed, “That’s an alien! Dad, you’re dating an </span>
  <em>
    <span>alien!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zim” directed its eyes- its </span>
  <em>
    <span>purple</span>
  </em>
  <span> eyes!- at the boy. The alien’s skin was a sickly looking green. It had no nose, no ears, strangely shaped conjoined teeth. Dib couldn’t know for sure, but the creature’s hair was strangely glossy and could very well have been a wig. Even with the hair, the thing barely passed as human!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A real alien! In his house! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dating his father! </span>
  </em>
  <span>What sort of nefarious plans could the thing be plotting that involved </span>
  <em>
    <span>dating his father?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The alien only held Dib’s gaze for a moment before turning to Membrane. “Well, this is awkward! They didn’t know Zim was coming?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Membrane shrugged, moving to close the door behind the alien. “No, but they’re used to the unexpected.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>unexpected,” Gaz mumbled, sounding tired.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dib stood up to gesture wildly at the alien intruder, shouting, exasperated, “Are you guys ignoring me? Are you not </span>
  <em>
    <span>seeing </span>
  </em>
  <span>this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes, son,” Membrane said dismissively, coming up beside the alien to wrap an arm around its shoulders. Only then did Dib realize how short the alien was, barely coming up to Membrane’s stomach. It would probably only be several inches taller than Dib and Gaz, and they would surely outgrow him in a matter of years. “Zim, this is my son, Dib. My daughter, Gazlene. Children, this is Zim, the alien.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, you really believe me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, Zim </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> from Canada.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wh- no!” Dib groaned, “He’s an alien, like from space! An </span>
  <em>
    <span>evil</span>
  </em>
  <span> alien!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Membrane’s brows furrowed in disapproval. “Dib! You know better than to accuse someone of evil to their face!” He turned to the alien with an apology. “So sorry for my son’s behavior. He’s a little insane.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am not insane!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zim smiled wide, showing off an uncomfortable amount of teeth. “Oho, no need to apologize, mate- er, boyfriend! I am sure the Dib-thing is just having difficulty adjusting to his father-unit’s AMAZING new boyfriend. Worry not, worm-babies! No need to be intimidated by ZIM!” The alien’s eyes creased as its smile grew ever wider, until his eyes were narrowed slits. “I am looking forward to getting to know you both- I’m sure you’ll get along with Zim </span>
  <em>
    <span>wonderfully!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. PREPARE FOR ONE-ON-ONE BONDING</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"GREETINGS, DIB-THING, GAZ-THING!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do <em>you</em> want?" Dib grumbled, eager to just slam the door in the Zim's face. Alas, his father had told him to at least be civil, which was a challenge in and of itself. At least he supposed it would be better to keep a close eye on the alien. (Plus, he wasn’t allowed to slam doors anymore.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"HAH! Silly Dib-worm," Zim chuckled, raising an obviously drawn on brow- a nicely done brow, but fake nonetheless. "Have you already forgotten your father-unit invited Zim to dinner?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He said he canceled,” Dib scoffed, “something came up at the lab. He didn’t tell </span>
  <em>
    <span>you?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Membrane didn’t have to tell me! We do </span>
  <em>
    <span>work</span>
  </em>
  <span> together, remember?”</span>
</p><p><span>“Yeah, yeah, I </span><em><span>remember</span></em><span>.” His father had recounted the story of their meeting when the alien was hired as a lab assistant and their eventual fondness of one another in </span><em><span>painstaking</span></em> <em><span>detail</span></em><span>. “So what are you doing here? Dad’s not going to make it for dinner.”</span></p><p>
  <span>“Ah, yes, allow Zim to explain! True, the Membrane cannot be here to join us,” Zim agreed, expression dramatically sobering for all of two seconds before recovering and puffing out his chest with pride. “But </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>had the INGENIOUS idea of taking you two wormies out for sustenance myself!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaz snorted from where she sat on the couch, having not bothered to move or even raise her head from her video game for the unexpected visitor. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“EH? Zim does not </span>
  <em>
    <span>kid!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Zim asked in blatant, genuine confusion. He gestured down at his outfit with a flourish, not the strange alien garb, but genuine Earth fashion. “I’ve even obtained the proper attire!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that, Gaz briefly looked up. “Oh. Nice skirt, actually.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dib begrudgingly agreed, but was quick to refocus himself. “Yeah, yeah, it looks nice, but why-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why, yes, Zim </span>
  <em>
    <span>does </span>
  </em>
  <span>look nice! Thank you, Gaz-thing, Dib-thing!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Okay, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> do you want to take us out to eat?” Dib shot the alien the no-nonsense, NOT “moody pre-teen” glare he’d been practicing that he hadn’t gotten a chance to try out on his father yet. “What’s your plan, </span>
  <em>
    <span>alien?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“According to my extensive research on human relations- because, like you, I am very human- the best way for you wormies to acclimate to your father-unit’s new mate- er, boyfriend, is…” Zim paused for dramatics before striking a pose and declaring, “ONE-ON-ONE BONDING TIME!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a brief moment of silence wherein Dib and Gaz processed the alien’s plan. And then, Dib couldn’t hold back his laughter. “Hah, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no thanks!</span>
  </em>
  <span> As if I’d go </span>
  <em>
    <span>anywhere</span>
  </em>
  <span> with you</span>
  <em>
    <span>,</span>
  </em>
  <span> let alone so you could get me alone and brainwash me. Or… I don’t know, whatever your angle is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wha?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Again, Zim reacted with infuriating, genuine confusion. “Really?? Are you sure? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Really?</span>
  </em>
  <span> We can go anywhere you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To Dib’s horror, Gaz looked up from her game and gave Zim a scrutinizing glare. “...</span>
  <em>
    <span>Anywhere?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes, of course!” Zim insisted as he pushed past Dib to enter the house, encouraged by the girl’s interest. “Whatever your goopy little organs desire!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Bloaty’s Pizza Hog?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, that establishment is most popular with you worm-babies, isn’t it? Of course, if that is what you want, that is where we will go!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaz deliberated for a long, tense moment before setting down her game console and standing up. “...Okay. I’m in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wh- </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gaz!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Dib cried out, grabbing her shoulders in hopes of shaking some sense into his sister. “He’s an ALIEN!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gaz shoved his hands off herself without breaking a sweat. “So what if he is? Dad hasn’t taken us to Bloaty’s in forever. If Zim’s gonna take us to Bloaty’s and he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>happens</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be a weirdo, I’ll take a chance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>insane</span>
  </em>
  <span>...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dib cut himself off as Gaz balled her hands into fists and stared him down. “Let. Me. Have. This.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you two done?” Zim asked as he tapped his foot, but he didn’t seem to be too impatient. “Are we ready for the Hog?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Gaz grumbled, heading for the door, “Let’s go. You have money for arcade games?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But of course! Dib-worm, are you coming?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a tough decision. On one hand, Zim was terrible and Dib wanted nothing to do with him- other than eventually exposing him as an alien. On the other hand, he couldn’t just leave Gaz alone with Zim to be brainwashed or worse, even if it would be </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> satisfying to get to say “I told you so” later...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Dib agreed, “But only to make sure there’s no funny business.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course! No funny business to be had,” Zim assured him, waving a dismissive hand. “Now, how would you two like to learn how to drive Zim’s custom Voot Cruiser?”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Zim claimed the Voot Cruiser was a vehicle he’d built himself, and maybe he really had, but that didn’t change the fact that the thing was an </span>
  <em>
    <span>obviously </span>
  </em>
  <span>alien aircraft. The design was unlike anything found on Earth, strange symbols on the various control panels and screens (Zim’s native language?), and the thing hovered in the air when it started up. It wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>remotely</span>
  </em>
  <span> human, much less street legal! (Dib mentioned this, and Zim informed him that that was what the cloaking feature was for.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, it was undeniably cool. The interior was a snug fit, but enough for Zim to stand to the side of the pilot seat for Dib and Gaz to share, offering to let them drive. Predictably, they fought over the controls at first, but Zim broke it up before Gaz could land a punch, suggesting they take turns going to and from dinner. Dib won Rock Paper Scissors, and soon Zim was giving him a rundown of the Cruiser’s controls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dib didn’t have anything to compare it to, being 12, but the thing was difficult to get used to, not as intuitive as he expected. It was touch and go at first, but it was exhilarating. Not that he was doing it for fun! He was learning everything he could about this alien invader, and if they were so stupid they wanted to </span>
  <em>
    <span>help</span>
  </em>
  <span> him, then that was their problem.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And, if he got a chance to fly the thing again, he wanted to make sure he knew everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dib jumped as the ship suddenly gave a jerk. Instead of growing angry or taking control of the ship like he thought the alien would, Zim took his wrist and guided it over to a different section of the control panels. “Here, Dib-worm, try using this to stabilize the thrusters!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay.” Dib did as instructed and the Cruiser’s flight smoothed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“EXCELLENT!” Zim cheered, and when Dib took his eyes off the controls for a moment to look over, the alien was grinning elatedly. “A fast learner for such complicated, intricate technology of my own design!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was hard to tell if Zim was really complimenting himself or Dib. Either way, the human mumbled a confused thanks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Too soon they had arrived at Bloaty’s, and Dib pushed down his disappointment as Zim explained how to land the Cruiser. “I’m surprised how quickly you picked up on that, Dib-thing! Impressive!” Zim praised him, though his own chest puffed with pride.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? You think so?” Dib asked, giddy with the attention. He quickly collected himself, though, and chastised himself. It had just been too long since he’d received a compliment from anyone, and Zim was just playing nice to get him to warm up to the alien. He coughed, frowning. “I mean. I’m pretty sure I mowed down at least 3 mailboxes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nonsense!” the alien insisted, “Zim is an </span>
  <em>
    <span>expert </span>
  </em>
  <span>pilot, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>destroy mailboxes all the time! Once you get more practice, you’ll be flying like a pro!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Practice?” Dib questioned eagerly. “I get to do that again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> still get to drive home, though,” Gaz demanded, “right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes, of course! There’s plenty of Voot for you both! NOW!” Zim stuck a pose, beholding the pizza joint in all its greasy glory. “LET US PARTAKE IN THE HOG!”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>more to come soon!! thanks for reading! comments make author go brrrrrrr</p></blockquote></div></div>
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